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Child sex abuse: “My little heart would beat faster when I’d hear him coming down to my room,” Sophie says.

“I’d hope and pray that he wouldn’t come in and pull the blankets back.

I carried self-loathing, humiliation, fear and shame. When I told her what had happened she thought I was confused.

“Now I have a good relationship with my mum, but during my 20s she seemed to downplay it.

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“There’s a lot of focus on priests, rightfully: the abuse and the cover-up were despicable. A family member who abuses is always a family member, and how does the family cope with that?Today Sophie has a difficult message about how we deal with child abuse. We need to listen to and educate children, she says.We need to create stabler and healthier homes and work on better mental-health awareness and sex education.It creates a perpetual anxiety for the survivor which is hard to put to rest.” James’s case highlights some stark facts that are not always understood about child abuse. Our current image of child sex abusers in Ireland, and our approach to them, may be putting young people at risk.Most abuse is carried out by family members or people known to the victim. If we are to keep children safe we may have to gain a new understanding of the problem and make some unpalatable changes to the way we deal with it. “I remember Gerard always wore these cowboy boots, and my little heart would beat faster when I’d hear him coming down to my room,” she says.

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