Being intimidating person
If I disagreed with him on anything, I’d avoid even a friendly debate, and smile tightly and change the subject.I tried to make myself appear smaller so I wouldn’t overshadow the man I was out with. A string of egocentric assholes who wanted to me small so that they felt bigger.But as I got older, and the men I’d date started calling me intimidating as a way to weasel out of the situation we were in, I realized that the opposite sex didn’t always see intimidation as a positive thing.And in talking to my queer friends, I found that this phenomenon seems to mainly occur in heterosexual relationships.The answers I found were actually super enraging — especially on one particular Reddit post I’d stumbled across.Some answered, “If she’s better looking than me,” while others brought up words like “smarter,” “stronger,” “funnier,” and “outspoken.” Women who made more money than their male counterparts, or had a better job or seemed more successful in general, were also penalized.At a certain point, the jig will be up, and then what kind of relationship will you be left with?And frankly, attempting to even figure out what people want from you — and what they deem “intimidating” — is a losing battle.
It was then that I gave myself the freedom to stop caring about being intimidating.
I quit hiding parts of myself from my dates so that they could really tell who I was, and this made me a better dater in a lot of ways.
It allowed me to fully discuss my standards and what I was looking for.
The men who I wanted to be dating, on the other hand, wouldn’t call me for a second date, because they’re men who like forthright, independent, complicated women — and that’s not who I was being.
It took me a while to understand that, by covering up my supposedly intimidating attributes, I wasn’t “fixing” myself; I just wasn’t being true to myself.